Mindful Drinking and Moderation in Midlife: How to Drink Less, On Your Terms
**A Spotify 'Rising Star' show** Practical moderation for the way you want to live.
Why can't I drink like I used to? How do I drink less without quitting completely? Should I go for low, no or light alcohol drinks? Why do alcohol-free drinks cost so much?
If you're in your 30s, 40s, 50s or beyond and asking these questions, this is your podcast.
Welcome to the essential show for midlife adults who want to drink less, on their own terms—without the pressure to quit completely, follow rigid rules, or label themselves as sober.
I'm Denise Hamilton-Mace, your mindful drinking mentor, writer and public speaker on all things low, no and light. Each week, I help stressed parents and busy midlife adults navigate their relationship with alcohol through practical approaches grounded in real-world experience and behaviour change strategy, not willpower or wellness culture
What you'll get:
Mindful Moderation Solo Episodes – Deep-dives answering the questions that matter to sophisticated drinkers who want to moderate smartly:
- How do I cut back when my partner still drinks at home?
- What really works: willpower vs. strategy?
- Why do premium alcohol-free drinks cost the same as full-strength versions?
- How do I navigate social situations when I'm the only one moderating?
This podcast is for you if:
- You're looking for practical advice that fits your demanding life, not another wellness overhaul
- You recognise that coasting with mid-strength drinks, zebra-striping, or bookending your evening with something non-alcoholic are all valid strategies
- You want better mornings without giving up celebrating life's special moments
This isn't about going completely dry or reinventing yourself. It's about keeping energy for what matters most: family, health, career, and living life on your own terms.
Join the moderation revolution happening in midlife – because while Gen Z gets the headlines, you're the one actually doing it.
Mindful Drinking and Moderation in Midlife: How to Drink Less, On Your Terms
#93. Stop Asking If I Still Drink Alcohol!
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I get asked constantly whether I still drink alcohol, as my answer will somehow validate my right to speak on the subject. Well, I'm getting fed up of answering that question, and here's why - it's completely missing the point!
In this one-on-one episode, I’m jumping with two feet into why I've built this platform for the messy middle ground, why shame-based messaging from both sides drives me mad, and why you don't need to make lifelong commitments to change something today. This is my honest take on why the Low No Drinker Media platform isn't about demonising alcohol or crowning ourselves as superior - it's simply about helping you figure out what works for you.
0:00 No preaching from the middle ground
5:00 Alcohol isn't evil, but it is powerful
10:02 No shame, no fearmongering, no misinformation
15:00 My business would be easier if I did
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🎄 Join the daily advent for free to have your best Christmas & New Year yet! https://lownodrinker.com/christmaspod/ 🤶🏾
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✅ Get the Beginner's Guide to Mindful Drinking - https://lownodrinker.com/mindful-drinking-beginners-guide/
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❓ Take the Midlife Drinking Triggers Quiz - https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/68dd33385bb4a20015996a13
No preaching from the middle ground
Speaker 1The Lone no Drinker media platform is a bit of a weird spot to be in . Sometimes it feels like I'm in this mid space between the sort of cheers let's get on it and the I'm never , ever touching it again . Sometimes it feels like my content is too boozy for some people who want to be completely alcohol free and , on the flip side , too dry for others who just want to moderate and to check things out for a little while . I get asked a lot , a lot more than I expected that I would , whether or not I still drink alcohol , as if that somehow qualifies my right to speak on the subjects that I do In nearly 100 episodes of producing the Lone no Drinker podcast . Do you know that I do In nearly 100 episodes of producing the Low no Drinker podcast ? Do you know that I have never once asked somebody , either on the show or in the preparation , whether or not they still drink alcohol , because it's none of my business . So why do I get asked and what is my position on it ? Well , let's talk about it today . Hello , hello and welcome to the Low no Drinker podcast , the only twice weekly podcast helping you find , understand and enjoy the world of low no and light , alcohol drinks , drinkers and drinking . My name , as you'll know by now , is Denise Hamilton-Mace and I am the founder , editor and host of all things Low no Drinker . So let's lay on the line and start , as we mean , to go on , because the Lone Node Drinker space is a space for people who are curious about drinking less or about drinking differently or just making more conscious choices . That's it , okay . I'm not here to demonize drinks or drinkers or to crown myself or others because we choose not to on certain occasions . We are simply here to think a bit more about how and why we drink and how that might look if we decided to drink differently , and the tools that we can use to help us do that , namely the amazing world of low no and light drinks that , as you know , get me very , very excited .
Speaker 1So why does this all matter ? I think that for lots of people , obviously , alcohol is wrapped up in our cultures , in societies , in memories , in rituals , in events and in joy . I'm not one of those for demonizing the past and erasing it . You know , I had some fabulous times while I was drinking , as did many people , and , on the flip side , I also had some not so fabulous times , as did everybody else as well . You know it's everything from the toast at a wedding or the , you know , cracking a bottle to wet the baby's head or that holiday wine that you might have .
Speaker 1So telling people that alcohol is bad and that they are bad for doing these things doesn't open those people up to the new possibilities of low , no and light alcohol drinks . It just shuts them down . Think about it for yourself . You know , no matter what your stance is now , I can almost guarantee that back in the day , you know , when we were out there , when we were living the life , if someone had just told you your decisions are all wrong , you're a bad person , you're making bad choices , you simply would have doubled down on what you were doing , got yourself an extra shot and head out back out onto the dance floor .
Speaker 1And if somebody is thinking to themselves , you know this isn't working for me at the moment . The way that I'm drinking , the way that I'm living , isn't quite right for me . But all they hear are messages like alcohol is poison and it's causing you cancer and you're either sober or you're failing at life . Then what is someone supposed to do with that ? You know that was one of the biggest motivators for me starting this platform in the first place is that when I was trying to look for information about low and no drinks , it all came with the caveat that , oh , perhaps you need to speak to somebody , though If you're looking for alcohol free drinks , it could be because you have a problem . Now I appreciate that there are people out there for whom alcohol is a life damaging problem , and I do not want to go any further without acknowledging that and saying that if that is you , and that is why you're here , I am not in any way , shape or form diminishing your situation . I'm simply saying that , for the majority of people that I speak to , whether they are people that found me through the Lono Drinker platform they sent me messages , I've met them at events people that work in the industry most of the people that I speak to aren't aiming for full sobriety . They're not looking to go teetotal , they're not looking to say I want to give up booze for the rest of my life . They're just trying to find ways to feel better , to find their off switch sooner , to make more intentional choices without feeling judged for it in either direction , and that is who I've made this platform
Alcohol isn't evil, but it is powerful
Speaker 1for . Those are the people that I want to serve for . Those are the people that I want to serve .
Speaker 1Alcohol to me isn't evil . It's a substance that does things and some of those things have very bad consequences . Absolutely , we know that . It affects our mood . It affects our body , our sleep , our energy , our decision-making processes , and some people find that those effects don't impact them as much as others and some people . Some people find that those effects don't impact them as much as others , and some people might find that different stages in life those effects are stronger or lighter than other times .
Speaker 1Whilst I didn't come to this stage in my life through a lens of recovery , I certainly can recall times in my life where I was using alcohol in a very , very negative way because there were things going on in my life and I use alcohol to medicate those . So you know it's different for everybody . That's why I don't see alcohol in itself as good or bad . It's just powerful , like caffeine , like sugar , like the fact that I was up on my phone playing really crappy games at 11 o'clock last night when I should have been sleeping because I've got so much work to do . Sometimes that power works for us because it relieves us , it gives us relaxation , it gives us escapism , and sometimes it doesn't , because it then leads to negative consequences . But we are allowed to say that this thing whether it be caffeine , whether it be late night gaming , whether it be alcohol isn't working for me right now and this thing isn't helping me right now without it becoming a moral stance or a lifelong vow .
Speaker 1You don't have to decide to quit forever to want to change something today . I've told this story before , but I never , ever , have said that I am going teetotal . I've never said that I'm giving up alcohol . My choice was to say that I am never , ever , ever , having a hangover ever again because it got in the way of my life far too much . So I came into this space making a decision that was better for me , without having to demonize an entire part of my life that existed before , or making a lifelong decision and commitment to hold myself to on a whim . You know , let's face it , we don't make a lot of lifelong commitments that we stick to . Being parents and getting married are pretty much the only two , and at least one of those most people fall out of at some point . So you know you don't have to want to , you don't have to commit to change your entire life , to want to change something and make it better today . And that's where low no and light alcohol drinks come in . They help you make that change today . They help you recognize that in this moment I can do something that's going to be better for me without having to say that this is it for the rest of my life . You know , you can still love champagne and be a mindful drinker . You can drink on the weekend and still decide that you're not going to have anything to drink during the week . Maybe you have a drink like .
Speaker 1My husband took me out for my birthday with the kids the other day . We all went for a lovely meal and he fenced in a Negroni . It's his favorite cocktail . It was on the menu , so he had one . When we're at home , when he's at work and going for a work do , he doesn't drink there because those don't suit him . So he makes a conscious decision to do what suits him in that moment and what works for him and as a result of that , he's living an overall better life for the way that he wants to .
Speaker 1You know you are part of this conversation , whether you're sipping on a craft beer or a kombucha . Be careful with those kombuchas . Some of them can have more booze than you think . But you know what I mean . You don't have to be firmly in one camp to decide that you want to live a sober , curious or mindful drinking lifestyle . I want to help people to feel more comfortable , more confident and more in control of what they do when it comes to making their choices around alcohol . And if we can have a little bit of fun and we can find some amazing drinks to support that along the way , then that's even even better . You know , it doesn't matter if you've just decided to swap your Friday night wine or your Thursday night wine for a functional cocktail , or maybe you just have alcohol-free beers at home , but you drink at parties . There's just lots of ways to make things work for you . Now , this doesn't mean to say that you have to force a moderation technique or that you have to set rules by how you decide to drink . It just means that you have the freedom to make choices in situations without committing to other people's standards and subscriptions of what you should be doing .
No shame, no fearmongering, no misinformation
Speaker 1Don't get me wrong , though . This isn't me just sitting on the fence and saying oh well , you know , whatever makes you happy .
Speaker 1There are certain things that do grind my gears when it comes to this way of living and this industry and this sector . One of those is the fact that we shame people about their decisions from both sides of the spectrum , and I never understand why it is that those who don't drink make those who do still imbibe whether it is full time or on occasion or mindfully or whatever try to make them feel bad for those choices . Because it makes no sense , because we understand , don't we , that shaming people and belittling them and demonizing their actions is the number one way to make sure that they keep on doing the negative thing that they're doing . We need to be supportive and we need to be understanding and we need to offer solutions rather than just throwing problems at people . I'm also very anti-fearmongering and misinformation . We all know we are adults .
Speaker 1One of the reasons why I don't talk in the magazine or on this podcast , in the magazine or on this podcast about the often cited seven types of cancer and the fact that alcohol is seen as a depressant is because I find that those are topics that people should only really talk about if they know what they're talking about . For example , everybody cites that alcohol is a depressant , but they miss out the fact that it's a nervous system depressant . So what's happening is we're giving people half of the information , we're not qualifying it and we're just trying to scare them into taking action so that they can come and join our club about these things , that you have the knowledge and the science to back up what you're saying and to also offer people the information that can help them make positive changes in their lives . I don't think there's anybody that listens to this podcast or that I have spoken to at events or in social gatherings who doesn't know that alcohol is bad for them . Me telling people over and over and over again that alcohol is connected to this illness and that illness and that situation is not news to anybody . None of us are oblivious to the fact that alcohol has some severe negative impacts , and so I don't see the need to keep ramming that down people's throats because I just don't think that it helps . Instead , I want to shove in your face the wonders of alcohol-free drinks , of non-alcoholic drinks , of low-strength drinks , of mid-strength drinks , because I think that these are bringing solutions and possibilities to people that they otherwise wouldn't have known about . I want to bring new information that helps people make choices to live the life that they want to live . I'm also really against alcohol choices being used to belittle people for other parts of their lives .
Speaker 1I am a parent to two small children . My oldest is about to turn eight in just a couple of weeks I know where does the time go and my youngest is five . I never talk about alcohol and parenting . It is such a sensitive ground and there is so much nuance to every individual's life that I think throwing around statements like drink less and you'll be a better mother are just so , so damaging , because all you're doing is reinforcing to somebody that they're making a bad choice and that , therefore , they are a bad parent , and what are they likely to do is to go and self-medicate and to numb that horrible feeling by drinking more alcohol or whatever advice that they are leaning on . So you know , of course , self-care and mental health and parenting and relationships and your work life all of these things are all impacted by the way that you use alcohol .
Speaker 1But let's find ways to support people in that . Rather than making them feel bad about it , let's offer solutions . I often say to my kids my daughter in particular she's at that stage where she sees a problem in something and then she just whines about it and she's like mommy , I don't like it , it's not fair . And I always say to her I look , I don't want to hear about your problem , let's find a solution . There's no point in you dwelling on what's wrong , how can we find a way to fix it , and that is really what I want to do with this podcast is not dwell on the problem , is not go on and on and on about the bad side of things and the negative side of things , but to actually find some positives
My business would be easier if I did
Speaker 1and find some solutions that can actually bring some pluses to your life , bring some benefits , bring some joy , bring some excitement , bring some happiness , can facilitate all of the things that you want to achieve in a way that you want to do it From a business perspective . You know , building the Lono Drinker media platform , the magazine , the podcast , the blog and anything else that my very busy mind comes up with , you know it does make it more challenging .
Speaker 1It would be easier if I just said this is a sobriety platform . This is all about sobriety and recovery . Alcohol is bad . We're staying away from it . It would be a lot clearer of a message . People who are completely alcohol free and don't want to be confronted with alcohol would feel that this was a space for them , without any fear of coming across . Perhaps a mid-strength drink or a recipe that says you could swap this for that , but that wouldn't be true to who I am and it wouldn't be true to what I'm trying to achieve .
Speaker 1The people that I want to speak to are those who are like I was a few years ago , those who have recognized that it is time for a change , but who might not know what that change looks like or how to go about achieving it , and want to feel supported without and this is really important without feeling judged . You know , they want to feel that they're in a safe space where they can be honest about their situation , honest about what they're looking for . I know that if they do decide that they want to live a mixed drinking lifestyle , that they still be welcome to drink at our table . That's who I'm really trying to reach . It's not to say that I don't want to speak to people who are sober or in recovery . Of course everybody is welcome here , sober or in recovery . Of course everybody is welcome here . But what I truly believe is that if I can help those who want to make a change but don't know how , then hopefully fewer people will find themselves getting to the stage where they do need to enter more professional sobriety recovery type help .
Speaker 1I know that many a night out for me would have looked very different in the past if I'd have felt comfortable and confident to know that there were other drinks I could choose and that it was cool to go and say , right , yeah , yeah , I'm coming out , definitely I'm up for it , but I'm on the AFBs tonight . So do I still drink ? As I've been asked by many , many people , like I said , when I go to events , when we meet up for online chats , you know , do you still drink alcohol ? Denise , I'm not going to answer that question because , honestly , it doesn't matter , and if you're here with me now , you're probably figuring out what works best for you , just like I have to figure out what works best for me , and my husband has to figure out what works best for me , and my husband has to figure out what works best for him , and everybody has to find the path that serves them best .
Speaker 1For some of us , that is staying away from alcohol in all shapes and forms from now until forever . For others , it is cutting down on what we drink , when we drink it and who we drink it with . Whatever that looks like for you , that's okay . Find your own path and do what serves you best . We do not live in a binary all or nothing state , and it is okay to not know exactly how your journey with alcohol is going to pan out . But if you are looking for some tools and some resources to help you along the way , then that's what I'm here for .
Speaker 1So no low , no drinker isn't anti-alcohol . It is pro you . It is pro awareness and education about the space . It is a proment and balance , whatever that looks like for you . So if you do still drink , or if you don't still drink , or if you're somewhere in the middle , this space is for you and I hope that it supports you , that it comforts you , that it guides you , that it lends you the support that you need for the times when you make the choices that serve your life the best , whether that is for a night , a week , a month or a lifetime . If you feel that this show can help you do that , then stick around . Press , subscribe , that'd be great . And , importantly , share it with a friend , because the more people that we can help to recognize that their decisions are valid , no matter what they are , no matter how long they're for , the better we can help the people that we love live the life that they want to achieve . Okay , that is it for this week . Until next time , cheers my dear to a life less intoxicated .
