SPEAKER_00 1:12

Hi hi and welcome to your mindful drinking advent day 11 with me, Denise Hamilton Mace, your mindful drinking mentor here on the Mindful Drinking and Moderation in Midlife podcast. That's a lot of mindful drinkings. Today is day 11, and the title for today is just the one because you've probably heard it already. If not, you're likely to hear it at some point in the next couple of weeks. Go on, it's Christmas. And my response to that is yes, it is a whole month of it. Um, there's a special kind of pressure in December that is not found at any other time of the year. It's often well-meaning, it might be confusion, it might be slightly affronted, everything from oh, just have the one to but it's Christmas, to but you're not drinking, as if you've announced that you're joining some sort of cult. No, I haven't. I just don't want to get drunk today. People generally don't mean you any harm when they say these things, they just don't know how to respond to the fact that you're doing something so different to what they are used to, maybe what they're used to from you, definitely what they're used to from themselves. Uh, for some people, your choice to drink differently or drink less holds up a mirror that they're not quite ready to look into yet. Uh, it questions their belief systems about how all these things are supposed to go. So know that when somebody is saying to you saying to you, go on, just have one, or come on, it's Christmas. It's usually far more about them than it is about you. But that doesn't mean it's not annoying. You have got to stand your ground in this. You need to do what I like to refer to as standing in your power. Just because somebody says, go on, it's Christmas, that doesn't mean that they've just waved this magic wand that makes all the consequences and all the outcomes and all the uh follow-throughs disappear. It needs to be your choice if you're gonna have a drink at any point this Christmas, not somebody else's, and not because it makes them feel better about your choice. So, in this situation, I think the most powerful thing that you can do is feel confident in your responses and have a few go-to statements at the ready. Now, I'm gonna give you a couple of examples here, but this has to be coming from you. It has to be in language and in wording that feels like you. If you just memorize a script from me or from anybody else, it's not gonna feel natural and people are going to be able to pick up on that. But the kinds of things that I personally like to come back with when somebody um keeps saying, Oh, go on, it's Christmas, or why don't you just have one? is always keep it simple. So things like, I'm good for a drink, thank you, but I will join you for some food or some dancing, or at this time of year, terrible karaoke, whatever it is. But just making it very clear that you are good in what you are doing, but that you still want to have a good time with them. So you will join them in something else that is fun and exciting and silly. Um, the other thing you could try is just saying uh a very simple like, look, I'm taking it easy tonight, I've got a big weekend coming up, or uh uh I'm I'm not feeling like drinking tonight, I've got lots to do with the kids tomorrow, or I've still got lots to do at the office. Whatever it is, again, whatever feels comfortable and natural for you. And the other thing that you can try is uh deflecting and changing the subject. So uh not tonight, thanks. Oh, but tell me about that project you've been working on, or no, I'm good at the moment, but oh, how did that race go that you were training for? Change the subject, make it about them. People love talking about themselves, uh, and they will soon move on. Confidence, as I said, is key when you're delivering your own responses. Uh, keep it simple, don't get into some elaborate excuse or backstory, it's not needed. Another tip that can work really well here is to keep your own low-no drink topped up, so whatever it is that you're drinking, uh, if your drink appears full, people aren't going to try to buy you another drink if you've got one in your hand already. And the last thing I will leave you with is to know that no thank you is a complete sentence. Okay, that's it for today. Now, behind the advent door for the 11th, I have got for you a selection of low and no and light alcohol drinks that you can find in most pubs in the UK. Some of these will be available in some bars in the US as well. And I've made this selection because these are drinks that are uh most commonly found in the low-no space. So you've got a list of drinks that you can ask for when you want to have something in your hand that looks and feels the part of any other drink that you would find in any other pub. This is part of you standing in your power, claiming the fact that you want to drink differently, and you're going to have a brilliant and delicious drink whilst you do it that just happens to have a lot less alcohol in it. So go and check those out. I'd love to know which ones you've tried, which ones are your favourites, and which ones I haven't got on the list that you go to all the time when it comes to choosing your low, no, or light alcohol alternatives inside your favorite pub. Happy drinking. I'll see you tomorrow for day 12. And until then, of course, cheers to a Christmas less intoxicated.