H's story

Not the only one

Mindful Drinking As a Tool

SPEAKER_00 0:39

It's okay if now is not your moment. It's okay if today is not the right time for you to commit to a life less intoxicated. You might need a few weeks or months, or like H, maybe a year. But this is the one thing that you don't realize. Whether you start actively moderating your alcohol intake now or in six months' time or a year from now, your journey has already started and you are already on your way to a life less intoxicated. You're listening to the Mindful Drinking and Moderation in Midlife podcast with me, Denise Hamilton Mace, your mindful drinking mentor. After 24 years of working in hospitality and drinking daily, I finally recognize in my early 40s that alcohol was no longer serving me the way it was before. Now I want to use what I've learned as a publisher, writer, and public speaker on all things moderation to help you design, build, and live a life less intoxicated on your own terms. If you're ready to make a change without judgment or pressure to quit, then come with me as we dive into the world of low, no, and light alcohol, drinks, drinkers, and drinking so that you can take back the power of choice from alcohol. So who is H? Well, a few weeks ago I got an email from a listener. Now, as always, I use initials to respect people's privacy, but what H said has stuck with me, and I want to share her journey with you today because I would put money on it being pretty damn close to your journey or to that of somebody you know. So H found my work uh over a year ago now. She bought a subscription to the magazine that I had at the time, joined the email list, etc. etc. But then decided that actually this way of life wasn't for her. And so she unsubscribed, she cancelled her payments, and carried on drinking, in her words, in her normal way. One year on, H was back in our mindful drinking world. She did dry January again, but this time through a different lens. She didn't focus on what she was missing out on, what she couldn't have. Instead, she looked at what she had to gain and how the month-long challenge could actually enhance her life. Importantly, H looks forward not just to the end of the 30-day break and when she could start drinking normally again, but to what life could look like months later if she continued to drink differently. She explored alternative drinks and ways to incorporate them into an adult drinking lifestyle. She subscribed to this show and downloaded lots of back episodes that spoke to where she was at the time and to where she wanted to be. She told me that episodes like number 83, You Can Drink Your Own Way, and number 85, Move Over Gen Z, had a huge impact on what she was thinking and how she was approaching her drinking journey. But as wonderful as H's email was, it's not unique. And as special a human being as H is, she is not the only one. So many people want to take back the power of choice from alcohol. We want to make a change to the way alcohol shows up in our lives. We want to cut back, to drink less, to drink differently, or some people not to drink at all. And so we try. We do a dry January here or a sober October there. And at the end of it, with no plan and no clear path forward, we end up slipping back into those damned old habits. Or maybe it seems just like too daunting a task and you don't know where to start or when the best time would be for you. Which upcoming event of the many, many things fill in your calendar would you be able to attend and commit to drinking differently at? And so what happens is we end up giving up on ourselves. We add too much pressure and too much expectation. And we think that if we have one or two drinks more than we intended, that we've failed. And when we do succeed at drinking less, but yet the house is still a mess, the kids are still annoying, your boss is still a dick. And then we think, oh my God, is this even worth it? The answer is yes. Yes, it's still worth it because you, my dear, are still worth it. Yes, it's a little bit cheesy, a little bit vital soon, but I mean it. Drinking mindfully, however, isn't a magic wand that we wave and make all of our troubles disappear. This is really important, and I want you to understand that mindful drinking is a tool. It's a tool that we use to give ourselves the space and the clarity and the capacity to work through our problems, to deal with our challenges, to face them head on, and to come out the other side better for them. And you can't do that when you're constantly hanging from the night before. And sometimes it takes a while for that realization to sink in. Like H. Sometimes it takes a few quote unquote failed attempts to know that there is no such thing as actual failure here. There's only feedback. So if it takes you a few weeks to come to this right realization for yourself, or a few months, or a few years, then that's okay. It took me 43 years to even start drinking in a way that was less damaging to my life. And now I know I will never go back because no matter how long it takes for you to be ready to drink more mindfully, once you see the benefits to your health, to your mental cognition, to your physical well-being, to your relationships, it's very hard to unsee them and to ever want to go back to old habits. So whether you're in the just thinking about it stage or you're ready to start taking bold action, your journey to a life less intoxicated has already started, even if you don't realize it yet. And if you're a H and you're watching from the sidelines and you're not quite ready, but you're not quite done with it all either, then the four week midlife mindful drinking reset is built for exactly that moment. So stay right where you are, and I'll tell you a little bit more about it.