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It's advertised on TV, it's lining the aisles of your supermarket, it has product placement inside your favorite soaps and reality TV programs, and every celebrity seems to have their own brand. So, how do you design a life with less alcohol in it when it's everywhere you turn? You're listening to the Mindful Drinking and Moderation in Midlife podcast, where it's my goal to help you take back the power of choice from alcohol. I'm your host and mindful drinking mentor, Denise Hamilton Mace, and this is the start of your journey to a life less intoxicating.

200 Episodes And A Thank You

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Now, before we get into today's topic, I just wanted to take a quick moment to point out that recording this episode marks 200 episodes of the Mindful Drinking and Moderation in Midlife podcast. Wow. Um, I can't quite believe it, but I just wanted to quickly say thank you to every single person who has ever listened to this podcast because there wouldn't be a show without you. And to people like Lynetta and Nicola and Susan and Maria and Chris and the many, many, many others who have written in with comments or left reviews on their podcast platforms or sent me questions to answer, your input means so much to me because it lets me know that the time that I'm spending um writing these episodes for you, like 5:30 this morning because it's half term and I had to plan my uh week with the kids and I didn't plan my time for recording very well. But hey-ho, um, but all those times, early mornings, late nights, whenever it is, it lets me know that the show is really reaching and helping real people, which is all I ever wanted to do. Um, and to the newer people who are listening who maybe haven't left a review or haven't written in or haven't contacted me, you are just as welcome to. I'm so grateful that you're here as well. I cannot believe how many new people in so many different places around the world are listening to this show. My podcast app, guys, tells me that this show is listened to in over 120 different countries and territories around the world. And that just blows my mind. I can't quite get my head around how that could be possible, but I'm taking it. Um, so welcome, welcome, come and hang with me because everybody is welcome to drink at my bar. And I'm so glad you're here. And here is to another 200 episodes. Why not? Um, okay, so enough uh enough gushing. Be quiet, D. Get on with the good stuff. I'm here to listen to you talk about booze. So let's do it.

Booze is Everywhere

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Okay, so today I want to talk to you about your environment, okay? Because let's be blunt here. Booze is bloody everywhere. It's in your home, all right? It's in the bars that you go to. We expect it in those sort of social places, but it's on the billboards and it's on posters and it's on TV and in movies. Um, hell, for some of us, it's even at work, it's in the office, not to mention the wall of bottles in your supermarkets and corner shops and on your online shopping. You get the point, okay? It's everywhere. And so when you tell yourself that you do want to moderate your drinking, but that you want to wait until everything is just right, okay? You want to wait until the timing is just right, until the circumstances are just right, until your diary aligns and all the stars align and your social calendar makes it more convenient, then you've got to ask yourself, okay, exactly what that looks like. Because as I've said many times before, and I will say again, there is no right time to take a break from booze, but there is also, or there are rather also no right circumstances under which to take a break from booze. You will never have the stars align perfectly for exactly what you want to do. Because unfortunately, the world does not revolve around our individual needs. Yes, it would be a lot easier if it did, but it doesn't. So we have to sort of accept that. And you cannot just avoid alcohol on the days when you are decided when you've decided that you don't want to drink any of it, because that level of convenience just isn't available to us. You know, that it would be great if when we didn't want to face temptation, when we didn't want to have anything in our way, when we didn't want to have any obstacles, they just disappeared. But unfortunately, that doesn't happen. So, short of locking yourself away inside and also not switching on the TV or watching a movie or even walk into your own fridge, it's just there, okay? Booze is surrounding us, it's part of the way that we live. Uh and even if you could, right, even if you could remove it in its entirety when it was inconvenient to you, or even if you could lock yourself away at home on the days when you've decided you're going booze-free, is that really the best way that we want to live? Because I'm not sure that it is. The whole point of moderating your alcohol intake and drinking mindfully is that you learn to build a life that fits your drinking moments in around your priorities, not the other way around. It's that you make alcohol a choice that suits your life and not allow it to become an inconvenience that dictates any part of it.

A Mindset Shift You Need

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Now, usually, this is the point in the show where I give you uh three practical tips or a five-part framework to use. But the truth is here that there is no framework for reducing the amount of booze that exists in the world. That doesn't mean that I might not still come up with one. Um, so instead of attempting to teach you to build a life where alcohol only magically appears when you've decided you're ready for it, what we need here is a mindset shift that acknowledges the um the omnipresence of the stuff, but doesn't let that override all the hard work that you've been putting into your moderation up until that moment, whenever it is. And one of the best ways to do that is to downgrade the significance that you give it on a daily basis.

Where Attention Goes Energy Flows

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There's a saying that I've been hearing a lot lately, uh and it's that where attention goes is where the energy flows. Sounds a little bit woo-woo. I know, you know, that's not me, but sometimes you hear these things and they just resonate with you. Um, and it can be a positive thing, okay? Um, it's been sticking with me a lot lately because I've had to start being a lot more focused on the things that I'm building for you, like the um advent calendar for this year and the moderation hub that I'm putting into place. And it's worked. I'm actively giving those things my attention and they're getting done.

Christmas Drinking Support & December Planning

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I suppose this would be a really good point to let you know that the advent calendar um is almost ready for you. You can sign up now on the website to join the daily mailing list where you'll get a daily nudge from me every day in December to help you moderate through Christmas your way on your own terms. Um, I know you're thinking, if you're listening to this episode when it gets released, you're thinking, Dee, it is only October, but I'm getting your back early this year. I'm building out the entire Christmas and New Year's hub so that you can get in early. Don't wait until December the 1st to start thinking about how you're going to do stuff. I'll link to it in the show notes, but back to my point, because on the flip side to giving your attention to something positively and getting things done, when I give my attention, for example, to um to Netflix, okay, I can literally feel the energy being pulled from my body over to the sofa. So where my attention goes, my energy is flowing and it's flowing out of me and not helping me to be productive in any way.

Information Is Not Instruction

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Where your attention goes, your energy flows. The thing that you give your attention to is the thing that will take your attention. So when you give your attention to alcohol, alcohol is what will take your attention. The more we focus on its presence, the more significant it becomes in our minds. Even when we have absolutely no intention of drinking it, the more thought uh power that we give it, the more it remains this elephant in the room that you can't quite get around. Um, and actually, it's like that mental challenge where someone tells you not to think of a pink elephant. Okay, the only way to actively not think of something is to think of it in the first place. So if you focus your thoughts only on the amount of booze in the supermarket on the shelves as you're walking down, only on the pints poured in the pubs of your favourite uh soap operas, if you're you know watching East Enders and they're in the VIC and you all you're seeing is them pouring pints, or all you're focusing on is them pouring the pints. If you're focusing on the fact that there seems to be um an advert for Jack Daniels in your face at every tube station, no matter where you stand, have you noticed that here in London on the tube, the Jack Daniels adverts are massive and they seem to be everywhere. But if you there just focus on those things, then those thoughts will consume your attention. So instead, you need to refocus your energy. Now, I'm not asking you here to pretend that you don't see them or that all that booze isn't really there. Uh that's called denial, and that's a river that doesn't float, my friend. But information, and that's what these signs are, they're information, and information is not the same as instruction. All right, I'm gonna say that again because it's really important that you hear me. Information is not the same as instruction. Just because your brain sees an advert for a bottle of wine, it doesn't mean that your body has to act on it. What you need is to sever the connection between see booze and drink booze, because they are not the same thing. If they were the same thing, we'd be having a very different conversation right now. And to that point, there are many, many countless times when you do see alcohol, when you do see a poster or a billboard or you see it on TV or in a movie. There are plenty of times when that happens and it doesn't lead to a desire to drink. But because you're not paying attention to those times, you don't realize that they exist. But if you were truly powerless against them, then you would be drinking all day, every day, and you're not. Yes, alcohol is still a part of your life, and that is fine if that is what you want, but you are not powerless against it, okay? You make the choice to drink differently or not drink at all all the time. You just need to believe in yourself as much as you believe in the power of advertising, in the power of product placement, in the power of supermarket shelf marketing and positioning. Because you can be stronger than all of those elements, you can be stronger than product placement. And that is exactly what I mean when I say we're here to take back the power of choice from alcohol.

The Four Steps Managing Finding Alcohol Everywhere

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So the next time you're confronted with booze in your face and you'd rather not give it any more headspace, I want you to try this. And yes, this is a framework. I can't help myself, they just seem to fall out of me as I'm writing. But the first thing I want you to do is acknowledge it, okay? Don't pretend that you don't see it or try to turn away quickly or shuffle down the platform so you're not seeing the Jack Daniels poster in front of you. It's it's there, it's happened, it's life. Acknowledge and accept that booze exists in your world even when you'd rather it buggered off for a little bit. The next thing I want you to do is to reframe it. Okay, so remind yourself that it is not an instruction, it is just information. Just like the posters that you see everywhere for bank switching or dog food or teeth whitening. Reframe the input from that promotion, from that poster, from that bottle, as information that is there to help you make a decision in your life rather than an instruction telling you what to do. And when you practice that reframing, what you're doing is recalling some of that power. You're taking it back and you're saying, I see you, I know you're there, I know that you might want me to come and play with you right now, but that is not convenient for what I want to do. And the information that you're giving me about your existence is not something that I need to absorb into my life at this moment. And then you move on. Next, I want you to record it, okay? Now, I don't mean on paper, you don't have to get out your your pen and paper and jot it down or your notes up on your phone. Although you can do that if you want to, but I mean just to make a mental note to yourself that you saw and acknowledged that promotional bottle of whatever wine or whatever spirit or whatever it was, and that you chose to let it go. Because each time you do that, each time you make a note to yourself that you didn't act on something the way that you previously had, you strengthen that sort of muscle memory of not acting on information as instruction, and it reinforces your belief in yourself of your ability to do it. It might not be something tangible that you can feel at that moment, but I promise you that each and every time you do this successfully, you are teaching yourself that it's easier to do. And every time you go ahead and do that, it gets easier and easier and easier. And lastly, I want you to release it. I want you to let it go. Don't dwell on it. And I don't mean just don't think about the alcohol, I mean also don't spend an hour patting yourself on the back for resisting temptation because that's still giving it too much brain space. So release it, let it go, and instead refocus your mind on something else, something that you actually want to achieve. Okay, so just to recap, next time you're confronted with that booze and you don't want to give it as much headspace, I want you to acknowledge it, reframe it, record it, and release it. Because moderating your alcohol doesn't have to mean removing it from your life. Okay, it's about learning to live with it on your terms. That's it from me for this week. Thank you again for being with me for 200 episodes of the Mindful Drinking and Moderation in Midlife podcast and whatever various name it might have had when you first joined. Um, I will see you next Wednesday for our next episode. And until then, cheers to a life less intoxicated.